Sunday, September 20, 2009

A Brother's Love

Between our 1st and last child is just under 4 years. To some that's just insanely close. For us those 4 years seems like 40. If baby #4 was a girl, she'd have Katie (17 mos apart). If baby #4 was a boy, he'd have Benji (almost 4 yrs old). We thought what a HUGE age gap.. how different it would be for BOTH of them. (I do realize that some people have at least 2-3 years in between EACH child, so this 4 years in between child #1 and child #4 should be nothing!) Well, baby #4 was John. A boy. Little did we realize what would become of Big brother and Little brother.
Benji loved him as his own from the very beginning. His eyes lit up when he saw his little brother. He looked out for him. Took care of the little things he could. Entertained him. Comforted him. Just sat at watched him. Rub his head (and ears). Had an unbelievable amount of patience's with him, especially as John became mobile and got into his things. Read to him. Taught him new things. Taught him 'boy' things. Snuggled with him. Included him in EVERYTHING he did. Brought him EVERYWHERE he could.
We felt so foolish and silly to think that we ever worried about the age difference. We were so busy looking at that age difference, we were so caught up with that number. We forgot that teeny, tiny thing that makes all the difference. A Brother's Love. It doesn't care about age. At all. In some ways maybe the age difference has allowed this amazing, close bond between our 2 boys. In some ways, it has nothing to do with this bond.
As Benji loves John; John loves Benji. When you see one, you'll see the other. They eat side by side, sometimes even sharing the same chair. They sleep together. They are always together. When ones gone, the other is lost. Often when they play, they do their own separate thing. But every so often Benji will go over by John, rub his head and say, "Hey, Tubby!", then go back to what he was playing. OR John will go over by Benji.
We've had no say in the order of our 4 children. But I'm grateful for a big brother on top to watch over and love the others. Our 4 kids are normal. They fight, argue, bicker and do whatever else brother and sisters do. But we've noticed that because they are all so close in age (all with-in 4 years) there is something special there between them (besides the brother/sister bonds). By no means has it been a piece of cake having kids close together. But we've found out the benefits FAR outweigh the disadvantages.

Please remember this post is about our 2 boys and their bond. It is not meant to take away from the bond our 2 girls have. Or the bond they have with their 2 brothers.


  1. They each have a special bond don't they? It is wonderful to see your children forming those bonds that will carry through to adulthood.